21:39 PM - 22/12/24

 I'm so worried.

I'm worried that my white shirt isn't clean enough. I'm worried that the stain from it fell to the dirty floor still visible to the eye from far away. I'm worried that my white shirt doesn't got ironing enough, I'm worried that I did a bad job of ironing. 

I'm worried that something wrong. It worries me to see people washing their stuff or do things while I'm just do nothing even though I'm pretty sure I'm good. 

I didn't wash my pants that I use to wear in class, because I think it's not dirty yet. It's black too. 

I might need to wash my somewhat official shirt though tomorrow. 

I'm just worried that my first day in my second week, something went wrong, and I won't know what to do. 

This place worried me sick. 

Sigh... 

So many pressure, so many responsibility, so many learning necessary. 

But well. I'm praying to God, that everything will be going fine. That it's just all in my head. 


Today we do the ooshouji, big cleaning. And I and the other guy whose senpai of mine doing the male bathroom. Nothing really worth mentioning. 

And I just lying on my bed, watching stuff and sleep a bit. 

I really do want to finish my anki because I have some time with this off day, but man how turning it was. I need to memorize again because I forgot most of the kanjis. It's good though, to memorize janji again. But it just felt tiring and make me sleepy. So, I just did like 15-20% of the anki today. At least I did some progress rather than nothing at all, right? 

Ah right. I did some gym stuff too. It was quite tiring. 

I'm with my friend Ahmad, we both go to gym just because there's nothing to do. I actually wanna do the gym but I don't wanna do it alone, and Ahmad wants to do the gym just because he wants to do something. 

I do recorded some video, but it's not that entertaining or memory worth keeping, so I'm not gonna post it here. 


I think that's about it.

Oh right, here's me in the lobby at the front of our (students) rooms :



And here's me now:


And yeah. 

I really really, really hope that tomorrow will be fine. I pray to God that tomorrow won't be a harsh day for me.

I hope me and my friends will be graduate and get good jobs in Japan. They're such good friends. 

I really want to graduate from here as fast as possible.


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