12:12 AM - 05-11-24

 Now I'm 24 years old! Happy birthday, me! 🥳🥳🥳🎉🎉🎉

What is my resolution in this 24 years old life? Idk, survive? It feels the same, but maybe just a bit like feeling old now. Well anyway, let's talk about today. Which is such an unlucky day.

Apparently, my previous phone number had a history that it's been registered in 2010. That's what the staff of Indosat (my phone number's brand) said to me. He said there's no way that I could've used it because I don't have ID Card yet, thus he said that I should bring my parents to do the work. He thought that this was my parents', but no, I think it's the owner of the outlet where I've bought this phone number. But what's weird is, I swear that I give him my ID Card and Family Card's number (this is the way to register one's id into the new phone number) to the owner and he actually registered it in front of my eyes. Like, why didn't my name come up?? Why someone else come up? 

So the staff show me the ID Card number that has been registered in the phone number, it's completely different than mine. And this card is a dummy too, the one that just for selling, with no name and no nothing in it. 

Oh God, I thought this is gonna be smooth, because it's not postpaid, which you need to pay in order to retrieve it, but it's a prepaid one. I guess it's not going to be so smooth, huh. The stuff just say that if I can't find the owner of this ID Card number that's been in this phone number, I can't retrieve it. There, I just stressed out. Overthink that is losing this gonna be okay? Is it gonna be the worst? I can still make do, I think. But all the connection in the Line App will gone. The people in my contact will need to save my number yet again after did it not too long ago. After this, I think my contact will be lessen and lessen, then. There's no guarantee that people will just save again twice my number. 

Thankfully, there is a way to do it. I think this is because the guy see me so desperate, thus he helped me. Or he just did it because he wants money. I mention money, because the method is I need to pay for a data package, it's 315k Rupiah. Man, another money consumption. I think this is the third time that I've paid this. Twice was when I retrieve a postpaid number. But man, I already pay the same 300k Rupiah for my data package that come from the same place I bought my new phone. I think it's cheap for 6 months. But what now?

I overthink it. Whether is it really the worst thing in the world if I lost it, or I should spend my money again. And just not use the data package, because I already have another one. I decide to spend my money. It will take 3x24hrs for the process of making the phone card to be done. So I'll need to go there again 3 days later.

Right, I forgot to mention that when I was in the queue, there's a couple sitting next to me. When The guy said "next please", me and the couple kind of stand up. We look at each other, but they didn't seem to standing up straight, so I'd take that as I can go first. So I ask them and they said yes. Later, I think this is rude of me, it should be their turn but I take it away like an asshole I was. I think that's why the staff guy just don't helping me at first, and after he sees me desperate and after our conversation that he seems deem me good enough to get help.

The other unlucky thing is that the pre-enrollment letter from the LPK has come. It said that I've been accepted... after I do all these tasks. There are so many things, but first let's talk about the documents. There are some of the usual things, but the ones that stood out was, I need to bring my real degree certificate and birth certificate and give those to them. Like what??? I asked the staff that they will give those back after I've done my LPK here and going to Japan. I've thought about this, and I think this is make sense, but first let's go through some other things in this letter.

If I failed N5 in the 2nd month, the payment will be changed from 500k Rp. to 4 Million Rp., start at the 4th month til the end (Yea, I think they know the failed people will just get all the money immediately, so they choose to start it in 4th). That's frickin scary!!! OMG, I hope I didn't fail in N5. I often hearing people said that N5 is so easy. Because there is always the furugana that helps reading. I hope so now. I really hope I can. I don't think I have the money to survive. Maybe I have, but, just barely. And I really don't want it.

There's also a provision state that if one's gonna resign from the LPK, they must still pay up everything til the end of the supposed month of you learning there. Yup. This is kinda a scary stake now. I can't fail N5 (Of course), but I also can't just resign. And people couldn't just run away too, because they have our real Certificate degree and Birth Certificate, those are a must to have. Yeah. That's why they take them. So that people can't just ran away now.

Man, this feel scary now. Even though I see people smiling in the video of their advertisement. I really hope it's all going to be ok. But I think my feeling is the same as when I go to Cambodia. Is that, I will throw everything at this. I don't care if everything will be broke. I don't care if I failed. I'll just do it like it's okay if I died here. I know it's such an extreme feeling, but it's the same when I take a plane and thinking im alright if I died of airplane crash. I've realized that this is such an extreme turn now. I just always feeling like I don't care anymore. Like, I don't wanna die, but if it happens, then that's that.

What a tangent, I guess. Well another thing to mention is that I need mom's signature and the head of my local area. I sure hope everything will go smoothly for these too. And I'm scared for when I estimate my weight and height, is that it might be very different from what I've told to the people from the LPK. 

In conclusion, I'll need to go again to the outlet of Indosat for my phone number card. I need to go to the South Jakarta for medical check up that needs money. Hopefully my money in Bibit (investation app) will be transferred to my account bank before too long. And lastly, after all of those gathered, I need to another place in Jakarta East in Cawang, which is I think I never go there. All these makes my head hurts.

I think we are in the flu season. There are so many people including me and my family that been coughing and sneeze over and over. My head too been in a headache. So With all these problems I have, and my headache, makes my head hurts more. I hope everything will be good. I pray to God. Please God, I know I'm not religious, but please help me. Well, I know you'll help me anyway. 

So, yeah. Happy birthday Mr. Andrew 🥳🥳🥳🎉🎉🎉(I like it when people called me Andrew lol). Here's the photo of the birthday guy:

I've been typing on my keyboard, but I think the poor quality of my laptop camera is gonna be sucks for my birthday post. So I take a picture with my new phone.

Alright, Ricky will come here today. And I'll have fun with my friends. Hopefully. And I hope that my headache will gone too. For my family too, of course. I actually don't know how to end this post. I still thinking about the dying thing, if I should let it be there. But well, it's my own diary and my own thoughts. I don't wanna erase my actual thoughts just because someone else might read and judge me by that. Sigh. Anyway. I hope everything will turn out ok.